Day 4- Hes gone :-(

So today has been the hardest so far. I dropped him off approx 6 o'clock this morning. I was a basket case all night and into the wee hours of the morning. I haven't slept very well. I think what hurts me the most is that we never talked it all out, we never cried it out together. It has been the elephant in the room for months now. Sadly now that it's here, I think the elephant has trampled me. I so badly yearned for him to hold me in his arms and say "It's all going to be OK". Even if he didn't think so, just hearing those words and feeling his strong arms around me, would make me feel so much better. So all the times I teared up and wanted to let loose and cry and he pushed me away, was just the mice under the elephant that has trampled me. Hopefully all will go well with training and he will get his 4 day pass. *Keep fingers crossed* I have a surprise up my sleeve, but cannot share with you because a certain someone may be reading this (I love you Joe!!!). Well my faithful followers, the time is now 2230 and I have been up since 0315. I must sleep before another wave of tears come, or monkey wakes up.